I am in the tail end of the baby boomer generation and the elder care industry is preparing for the Silver Tsunami we will create. I suspect that you, as well as I, have pretty much not prepared ourselves for the health care and end-of-life care we will need.

As my father's disease progresses, I find that what I am learning for my work for Caring Companion Health Care is extremely helpful for my own family. Hospice started working with my father and mother about 18 months ago. Our hospice social worker provided answers to every question I could come up with and gave us emotional support. They are a wonderful, caring, and knowledgeable group of health professionals.

I was lucky enough to attend the recent hospice conference in Bangor, ME. Women I had not met talked to me in the buffet line, at my table and in the halls. That conference room was full of kind people, working in health care. The woman seated next to me, quietly left the room during the key note speech and returned with a muffin. When I whispered "Where did you get that?" she offered it to me. I glanced down at her nametag, already guessing; yes, she was a hospice social worker.

The first thing Dr. Ira Byock, (palliative care expert, author of three books, a Dartmouth professor, and a frequent TV and radio guest), said was: "I have some bad news that I hate to tell you, but...we all are going to die". After about two seconds of shocked silence, the laughter erupted.  Of course we are all going to die, but how often do we talk about it?

Did you know that hospice is available starting 6 months before death? Right now, 1/3 of the patients use it only for 7days or less. Hospice actually provides many kinds of care, including pain management, while not hastening or postponing death, just making it easier. Dr. Byock pointed out that the end-of-life has many aspects. Relationships can be resolved. Families can talk about the meaning of life.

The most important thing I learned that day was actually the basis of his book, The Four Things That Matter Most About Living.

When your loved one is dying and you don't know what to say, say these four things:
1- Please forgive me
2- I forgive you
3- Thank you
4- I love you

As Dr. Byock says, "You will never be sorry that you did."

We sincerely appreciate our caregivers and we thank them often. The work they do, their devotion and our work have brought tenderness into my life. I often tell my coworkers that my job has changed me. I am not making that up, anticipating my next raise!

Back in the dark ages, I found socializing to be awkward, embarrassment-inducing and

Read more ...

I have to confess. I am a list-maker. My excuse is that I am a visual and kinetic learner. Seeing the words in front of me and the actual movement of writing help me to remember what I have to do, or buy or who to call. 

It may not be polite to carry a list of the following communication tips, but you can review them and try a few at a time. They are even useful in everyday life, especially when meeting new people.

Read more ...

25 years ago, walking to an Ocean City, NJ beach with my three-year-old daughter, I sang at each street corner. "Stop, look and listen, before you cross the street. Use your eyes, use your ears, and then you use your feet!"

Approaching a person with dementia is significantly different than greeting a friend or family member. It is important for you to know that their brain is changing. They are confused or anxious. They may not remember you, that you were coming, or why you are there. To ensure that your appearance does not startle a person with dementia or put them "on edge", try the following, which is very similar to that little song: 

Direction

Read more ...

There are plenty of quotable quotes about aging to go around; the ones below particularly appeal to me. They feel truthful, they're upbeat, and they demonstration that our cultural youth bias is just plain incorrect.  These all focus on the power and possibility of later years. I start with the Concord (Massachusetts) authors -- living here for so long, I just couldn't resist.  Enjoy them all, and add any of your own favorites in comments.

To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent that is to triumph over old age.
Amos Bronson Alcott

The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Read more ...

Aging has changed during the past generation.  From an elderly woman choosing to live alone in Belmont, MA rather than enter assisted living, to a Concord wife with mild dementia struggling to provide senior care for her ailing husband, to a Bedford couple in their 90s and still home with outside help, we see many more families with elders who have moderate to significant needs. Those terms of care can stretch into years.

This requires a change in attitudes and expectations for families to reduce their stress. It’s necessary to reset our expectations and assumptions that result from such widespread changes. Let me illustrate with a story.

Ted and Mikie

Read more ...

Hurricane

Hurricane Earl's will keep us guessing for another 24/48 hours about when and where landfall will occur. But Friday is a possibility, and it's also possible that we are right in its track. Or not!

I spent 10 years with the Concord, MA Emergency Management Agency as a leader in preparedness planning and training for citizens as service to my community. Luckily, I'm able to bring that experience to Caring Companion.  Believe me – it’s far better we think these things through now than

Read more ...

NPR's Aging At Home series cites Caring Companion as a thought leader.

Many of you probably heard National Public Radio's popular series this week Aging At Home.  We were enormously proud to learn that NPR selected Caring Companion Connections as one of only four resources they listed on their web page as Additional Resources for the first episode.  Clearly, NPR has realized what many already know: Caring Companion Connections is a leader in providing wellness-focused home care and innovative, effective ways to help seniors age comfortably in the home of their choosing.

Find out for yourself! Download our white paper: Reimagining Home Care: New Needs, New Approaches .  See how home care in the 21st Century is different, and find out what every family needs to know before you choose your home care agency!

Click here to download the white paper.

Toot

This is what it's all about! On the heels of our 100-mile Alzheimer's Memory Ride fund-raiser, here is the story of a man whose efforts cast ours in a pale light.  Carleton-Willard Village resident Bob Sawyer of Bedford, MA, is an active cyclist approaching 90 who might easily have given up when his health declined.

But he didn’t, and those around him didn't, either. In a recent article in the Boston Globe, Sawyer’s physician describes his “recovery as a case in which the presence of friends, the efforts of medical professionals, and the patient’s inner drive conjoined to turn a dire situation around.”

Read more ...

"Creativity is a new paradigm for aging that articulates the idea of seeing older people for their potential rather than their problems.  In later life, creativity strengthens morale, enhances physical health and enriches relationships.  Creative engagement also constitutes the greatest legacy older people can leave their children, grandchildren, and society as a whole.

"Older people have functioned historically as keepers of culture who pass on the history and values of a community to the next generation. Therefore, creativity develops culture; and, culture builds and sustains community life through the positive engagement of older people in the arts.

Read more ...

A recent New York Times article entitled A Health Insurer Pays More to Save pointed out that regular monitoring of even simple health measures led to a drop in hospital re-admissions and overall costs. They are giving primary care doctors more help to try to keep patients, especially elderly patients, in their homes by improving monitoring and reporting to head off serious health problems.

This points to an area where the home care industry could contribute far more than we do today in reducing the costs of health care and improving quality of life for our clients: providing real-time information and reporting to health care professionals and families to confirm that plans of treatment are followed, and to report any changes in status as early as possible for follow up.

Read more ...

The class entitled "Aging, Disability & New Technologies: Real Hype or Real Help?" to be held in Concord on May 13 will be reschedule -- future date to be announced!

In the meantime, if you'd like to have us present this course for your organization, please contact us. This is a lecture we give at no cost as a community service.