I spent half of Jaws under my seat and have not watched horror movies since. This seems like one. I can't see, my feet hurt and there is constant noise. This is just like that party last week.

The four of us from Caring Companion Home Care are starting a "virtual dementia tour" at Atria in Kennebunk,. ME.The form asks: Do you feel confused, anxious, disoriented? I don't know what is going to happen. Maybe anxious. 

We each put plastic soles with spikes face up in our shoes. Next are yellow goggles and big gloves. Lastly, ear buds playing constant noise- I keep trying to hear what the people are saying but it is a jangle of ...well, noise. Susan leads me into an apartment, promising not to leave me and asks me to do four tasks. I immediately forget number four. 

1- Find and put on the white sweater. I head for the bedroom, walking slowly and hunched over because I can't see my feet. My co-worker (at least I THINK it is Maggie) is folding clothes on the white bedspread. That wasn't on my list - or was it? The sweater is not there but here it is in the white closet. 

2- Write three sentences in a letter to your family and put it in the envelope. Is the paper in the bedroom? No. Kitchen, no. Score! Living room. I can't see if my pen is writing and jeesh, I can't feel the paper to rip off the pad. These people are mean and I now hate envelopes. 

3- Set the table for four. They didn't get me this time. Only 2 mats are out. But, dang. Paper plates. How many are here? Plates and mugs, not so bad. I can't feel the weight of the plasticware. 

I hear Maggie asking questions. "She won't answer you!" I yell. I can hardly hear myself. Can she hear me? She is counting out her tasks and says "water". That's it! My fourth thing. I feel around for the clear plastic cup. 

Yay, I win. What do I win? Awareness of fear, frustration, disorientation and wanting help, feet that still tingle and thankfulness that I do not have dementia. 

Susan gives us therapy...er...talks to us about the experience. We talk about color contrast and keeping items where they belong. It's hard for dementia patients to see white on white which is why it's a good idea to use colored plates so they can see their food. It's good to greet someone from the front, waving hello, saying their name aloud and extending your hand. I can see that these steps will help to orient someone. 

An hour later, we have put the episode behind us. Because we can. I am so glad I can. 

I am in the tail end of the baby boomer generation and the elder care industry is preparing for the Silver Tsunami we will create. I suspect that you, as well as I, have pretty much not prepared ourselves for the health care and end-of-life care we will need.

As my father's disease progresses, I find that what I am learning for my work for Caring Companion Health Care is extremely helpful for my own family. Hospice started working with my father and mother about 18 months ago. Our hospice social worker provided answers to every question I could come up with and gave us emotional support. They are a wonderful, caring, and knowledgeable group of health professionals.

I was lucky enough to attend the recent hospice conference in Bangor, ME. Women I had not met talked to me in the buffet line, at my table and in the halls. That conference room was full of kind people, working in health care. The woman seated next to me, quietly left the room during the key note speech and returned with a muffin. When I whispered "Where did you get that?" she offered it to me. I glanced down at her nametag, already guessing; yes, she was a hospice social worker.

The first thing Dr. Ira Byock, (palliative care expert, author of three books, a Dartmouth professor, and a frequent TV and radio guest), said was: "I have some bad news that I hate to tell you, but...we all are going to die". After about two seconds of shocked silence, the laughter erupted.  Of course we are all going to die, but how often do we talk about it?

Did you know that hospice is available starting 6 months before death? Right now, 1/3 of the patients use it only for 7days or less. Hospice actually provides many kinds of care, including pain management, while not hastening or postponing death, just making it easier. Dr. Byock pointed out that the end-of-life has many aspects. Relationships can be resolved. Families can talk about the meaning of life.

The most important thing I learned that day was actually the basis of his book, The Four Things That Matter Most About Living.

When your loved one is dying and you don't know what to say, say these four things:
1- Please forgive me
2- I forgive you
3- Thank you
4- I love you

As Dr. Byock says, "You will never be sorry that you did."

A fun-filled evening to benefit the Alzheimer's Association!

This coming Friday, the Liberty Alzheimer's Partnership will host a fun evening of music to raise money and awareness for the Alzheimer's Association. Music of the 40s, 50s, and 60s will provided by the Golden Tones, a chorus of senior citizens based at the Wayland Council on Aging, and by the Vocal Revolution (formerly Sounds of Concord), an award-winning barbershop chorus. Singing along and dancing are not allowed - they are required!

It is an early evening (5:30pm-8pm), to allow families to bring members of all ages, from youngsters to those who may be suffering from dementia. Light supper will be provided. Location is First Parish in Concord, 20 Lexington Road.

It will be fun and inspiring, and for a good cause. We hope you will join us!

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Teepa Snow is a dynamic, inspiring, insightful coach for professionals and families who support Alzheimer's patients. She will appear in Newton on Wed May 29, 2013, to give a FREE seminar, entitled Essentials for Your Journey Together. This is a rare chance to see such a gifted speaker on Alzheimer's Disease.

At Caring Companion Home Care, we use videos of some of Teepa's training when we train our own caregivers to work with Alzheimer's patients. She is funny and empathetic, and her West Virginia accent stays in Massachusetts ears long after the video ends. If Alzheimer's is an issue in your life, take the chance to see Teepa.

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By Vernon Doucette,
Boston University Photography

Concord residents had a terrific opportunity to learn from one of the nation's leading Alzheimer's researchers last night as Dr Robert Stern, co-director of the Center for the Study of Traumatic Encephalopathy at Boston University's School of Medicine, spoke at the Concord Council on Aging. Stern, an excellent speaker, filled evening with both useful information and hopeful stories. 

I knew we were in for a good evening when he started off with what most would consider a professional and political No-No: he told a joke about a man suffering from Alzheimer's Disease. And his point was well-taken: successful Alzheimer's caregivers have to have a sense of humor.

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I posted recently about a Johns Hopkins study on aging senior citizens: For Older Adults, Participating in Social Service Activities Can Improve Brain Functions. Today's story is about a man who could be Exhibit A for this point: local hero Al Armenti.

Al is well-known in his home town of Concord MA.  Well into his 90s, he is very active in many social service activities, in his church (First Parish in Concord, a Unitarian Universalist congregation), and in music circles.  He is a combat veteran and has been a peace activist for decades.  Recently, I received an email from Al reporting on his participation in the St Patrick's Day with the Veterans For Peace.  He writes by way of explanation that "As a long-standing member and, because of my age, I was allowed to ride in the back seat of an open convertible."  That's okay, Al, I hope that if I am still fighting the good fight when I'm nearly 100, someone gives me a ride in the parade, too.

Although it seems that Al has been a dedicated member of Veterans For Peace for since the Revolutionary War, his participation is somewhat more recent.  This is not a small commitment: a few days before the parade, Adrian Walker wrote a column in the Boston Globe about VFP's efforts to march in the traditional St Patrick's Day parade:  Antiwar Veterans Group Battles to March in St Patrick's Day Parade.  Al also sent along a video of the event (he appears in the red convertible toward the end).

The picture above at the right is Al playing his mandolin, which he still does in public.  One of his favorite songs is Pete Seegar's humorous My Get Up and Go Has Got Up and Went.  Delivered with a twinkle in his eye and an engaging smile, the song as Al sings it is clearly ironic.  His 'Get Up and Go' is doing just fine.

So here's to you, Mr. Armenti! You aren't old - you have just been young for a very long time!

Probably the single greatest reason we are called to serve families is to provide care following a fall by an elder. Particularly when people have lived in a home for decades, we see that homes and people have not adapted to the extra care needed to prevent falls. These are preventable events, and families with elders will be well-advised to attend Emerson Hospital's free workshop.

Falling - Don't let it happen to you or someone you love

People concerned about elder care and resources for senior citizens living in Concord should attend Saturday's Healthy Concord Community Forum at the Harvey Wheeler Center, 9:30am - 12:30pm. This is a chance to alter the resources and emphasis the Town places on issues of elders and elder care.

Back in the fall, the Town of Concord embarked on a healthy community planning project to assess the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health and overall well-being of the community. The project has worked to identify Concord’s existing assets and resources, define residents’ needs, and determine opportunities for improvement. The focus of the Healthy Communities effort has been on local issues that affect health and quality of life, such as:

• Public health concerns such as heart disease, substance abuse & air quality
• Housing and education
• Youth development
• Access to health/medical care
• Child care and elder care
• Recreation
• A clean and healthy environment
• A safe environment
• Arts and cultural pursuits
• Transportation

For more information contact Jill Block, Healthy Concord Coordinator at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or Susan Rask, Public Health Director at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. . Register by e-mail to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. . Please specify if childcare is needed.

Last chance is TODAY! Local residents can support Meals on Wheels by bidding on some terrific restaurants and other contributions available until 10PM EST tonight. March for Meals is a national campaign sponsored by the Meals on Wheels Association of America to raise awareness about senior hunger, recruit volunteer Meals on Wheels drivers and raise needed funds. This month the March for Meals online auction, with gift cards to restaurants, grocery stores, coffee shops and other food-related businesses as well as Red Sox tickets. Place your bids here.

Minuteman Senior Services is a non-profit organization that has been helping elders and their family caregivers in Massachusetts locate appropriate eldercare assistance since 1975. Their mission is to help seniors and people with disabilities live in the setting of their choice by engaging community resources and supporting caregivers. Over 22,000 people each year turn to them for help. Caring Companion Home Care has worked with Minuteman in a variety of capacities for years, including as an approved home care agency in their publicly-funded program for low-income seniors. Through the Executive Office of Elder Affairs, Caring Companion Director of Care Dr Deborah Bier was trained in pilot program with the Massachusetts Alzheimers Association for Rehabilitation Therapy, and we now use this as the basis for all our Alzheimer's training for our caregivers and client families.

Yesterday I attended a presentation by Dr Gregory Martin, Chief Medical Officer of Emerson Hospital in Concord MA.  Dr Martin highlighted, with justifiable pride, a recent program by Emerson to reduce their already-low rate of hospital infection. Anyone familiar with current elder care issues at hospitals knows the concern that the facilities can be a petri dish of infection, and with frail elders and compromised immune systems, the risk of becoming sicker in a place designed for healing is one of the frustrating ironies in today's health care world.

As a home care agency owner, I was particularly interested in his remarks about reducing infection for clients with catheters, since so many of our clients have them. 

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I took a short break this afternoon, and when I tuned back into the world of news, I found that the expected winter storm Friday into Saturday was now being called a BLIZZARD WATCH!  Eighteen to twenty-four inches are being forecast with high winds. My goodness... 

We rolled into action to consider the safety of every shift change Friday and Saturday... will the roads the safe? Will it be snowing too heavily? How can we serve clients Saturday night and Sunday morning safely? We will work with families and caregivers to create a plan for any shift changes that may be made unsafe or impossible by this storm. We will be in touch wiht impacted families and caregivers.

In the meantime, this is the right moment to share two blog posts I wrote from a past winter storm/blizzard. They contain info about prepping clients' and the caregivers' homes, and other important information. Please review this and then get into action to get ready.

Who Will Shelter Your Elder Loved One in an Emergency?
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First Possible Winter Storm Coming, Eastern Massachusetts 
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Easten Massachusetts Winter Storm Forecast Upgraded To a Blizzard
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Hats off to Mary Baum, Nancy Crowley, and the team at Concord Park for their terrific PhotoVoice project! I attended the open on Thursday November 29, and it was very impressive. We had previously blogged about this project (see our post from October 31). The emotional power of the images and the descriptions reveal a lesson we always emphasize to the families of our clients and to our caregivers when we conduct training: although reasoning and language ability may decline, the emotional experience of people with dementia remains vivid. This is why it is so important to “meet them where they are.” Absent safety concerns, the immediate facts are irrelevant, but the emotional life of the person are real.

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New technologies to help seniors, the disabled and their caregivers are being launched every day. It's a huge, growing industry worth billions of dollars annually. But there are so many new products and services coming to market that most people feel confused and overwhelmed.  Do these devices mean  real aid for aging in place, or just a new way to part elders with their money?

Learn how to sort out the "toys and gadgets" from the helpful technologies on the market today. "Aging, Disability & New Technologies: Real Hype or Real Help?" Instructors Jim Reynolds and Deborah Bier, PhD will help participants make more wise choices in this bewildering, rapidly expanding marketplace.

The session will review some of the

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Sunday night I attended a workshop in Concord delivered by Harvard MA resident and hospice nurse Sue Dobbie.  Sue has spent 40 years as a nurse, primarily in home care and hospice, and currently works at Community Health Network in Holliston, MA, which provides nurses to home care and hospice agencies.

Sue led a discussion of the 5 Wishes document, which is published by Aging with Dignity. 5 Wishes helps families plan for terminal illnesses in a sensitive and thoughtful way, to be sure that the person who is dying can have the medical treatment and palliative care that he or she prefers, and that final ceremonies and wills can be arranged in advance, knowing that the person's wishes are being honored.

Sue mentioned how many families avoid discussing these topics, as if denial can delay or avoid the events. Unfortunately, studies show that we all get older anyway, and that denial is not an effective strategy to avoid death. Given that these events are coming, families always experience them more peacefully if they know they are caring for the terminally ill elder (or patient of any age) in the most sensitive manner possible, and according to his or her wishes.

The 5 Wishes asks five simple questions:

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Caring Companion Home Care has adopted and trains our caregivers in habilitation therapy when caring for clients with Alzheimers Disease and related dementias (ADRD). This approach was developed at the Massachusetts Chapter of the Alzheimer's Association, and is considered to be the best standard of care for all types of dementia. Sadly, it is not in as widespread use in all aspects of elder care as it should be.

Habilitation therapy is a comprehensive behavioral approach to caring for people with dementia. It focuses

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The "Sages and Seekers" program will be unfolding again at Concord, MA's Concord Academy. This program brings "Sages" over 65 and "Seekers" among the CA student population together for 8 weeks to learn about one another. This excellent video shows the program from several viewpoints.

They are seeking several Sages to participate in this semester's program, which begins next week. If you are interested in being part of the event, please  contact the creator and coordinator, Ms. Elly Katz at  508 444 8821, 508 333 0490 (cell) or This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .

Recently I had the pleasure of breakfast with William O. Lytle, author of The Essential Organizer: An Ongoing Record of your Estate and Personal Information. Bill has created a valuable tool that helps families do exactly what it advertises -- a much-needed exercise.

Bill is pleasant, thoughtful, and friendly, and in discussing his work he tells stories of families he has interviewed in preparation for this publication. He talks about how difficult these end-of-life planning conversations can be, and had contacted me after a recent blog post on strategies to guide families through these waters before dementia strikes or other events make the conversation impossible.

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Course instructor Deborah Bier, PhD (photo, below right) has been a health care educator, author, and wellness coach for over 20 years. She holds a doctorate in therapeutic counseling, and has helped hundreds of individuals and families to live better with chronic illness and disability. She is the director of the Concord, MA office of Caring Companion Home Care. (www.CaringCompanion.Net) and has lived in Concord for 30 years.

Middlesex Community College's MILES Program (Middlesex Institute for Lifelong Education for Seniors) offers intellectual stimulation, interaction, and friendship for adults ages 50+. Some of the topics explored through MILES include history, politics, arts, fitness, health, safety, music, computers, internet, travel, business, psychology, law, poetry and opera. Courses have no term papers, exams or grades, and are held at their Bedford campus. They are facilitated by individuals with expertise in topics based on professional, educational or personal experience. Semester membership fee of $95 includes access to all MILES courses. MILES is an afffiliate of the Elderhostel Institute Network.

For more information or to register, call 781-280-3570 or e-mail Chris Lindsey at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. . Find a list of all their courses here. To reach the instructor, email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .

For those living near Concord MA, a great opportunity is coming to help prepare you or an elder loved one for important upcoming decisions related to aging and end of life issues.  Families dealing with senior care or aging parents, with Alzheimers or dementia, may especially want to take advantage of this chance for thoughtful reflection on issues facing older family members.  On Sunday, March 25, the Wright Tavern Center at First Parish Unitarian Universalist church in Concord will sponsor The Five Wishes—A Workshop to Help You Make Important Decisions.

I have participated in this planning in my own family and have helped clients with aging parents through similar decision processes. I find the structure and guidance of this process to be thoughtful and a great stress reliever.  If you have an aging family member, I highly recommend this workshop for either or both of you.

The workshop is led by Sue Dobbie, RN, BS, CPN, a member of Concord's First Parish UU.

From the brochure:

"Five Wishes looks at the personal, emotional, spiritual needs

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By Susanne Liebich (photo at right)

Editor's Note: This program is an excellent example of what we believe here at CCHC: that our clients are first and foremost people with challenges, not full-time patients.  The difference living this point of view is profound, as this article makes abundantly clear.

The healing power of dance… I stand here to vouch for its validity.  And in particular, I want to tell you about a technique called Dance for Parkinson’s Disease developed by Mark Morris Dance Group in 2001. This technique is not about therapy, yet it is therapeutic. It is not about exercise, yet for most, it is a wonderful workout using the whole body in different ways. Dance for Parkinson’s Disease is a pedagogy that integrates ballet with imagery, balance, mobility exercises, expression and enjoyment of the art dance. It’s about creating something aesthetically beautiful and creative with the body. It’s about appreciating dance for dance’s sake in a group setting and to explore the range of physical and creative possibilities that are still very much open to individuals with Parkinson’s.

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